67 funny things to ask Siri

When Siri first arrived on the scene, it seemed like she might usher in a new dawn of how we interacted with our phones. Sadly, it didn’t really turn out that way. Siri remains useful in some circumstances, but she never really lived up to that early promise.

The rise of AI chatbots such as ChatGPT and Google Gemini has only served to make Siri look even more dated. Siri is about to get a lot smarter, however. In iOS 18, Siri will see some big improvements in what she’s capable of. She’ll also have the ability to access the power of ChatGPT if she’s unable to answer a query herself.

However, while the latest AI apps may be able to do a lot more than Siri can, there’s one place where she can still hold her own. As yet, AI isn’t very good at humor; just try asking ChatGPT to create some original jokes if you want to see how truly bad it is. Siri may not use AI to be humorous, but she has plenty of stock responses that were written by a good old-fashioned human, many of which are genuinely funny.

Below we’ve listed some of the best prompts and included one example of the response that Siri might give. However, sometimes there are several different answers to the same question, so it’s definitely worth firing up your iPhone or HomePod and trying some of these out more than once. Here are some of the funniest things to ask Siri if you’re ready for a laugh.

Things to ask Siri about herself

Get to know your voice assistant a little better

What are you wearing?

“In the cloud, no one knows what you’re wearing”.

What’s your favorite video game?

“My preferences are constantly changing. Especially when you edit them in Settings”.

Do you have a boyfriend?

“My end user license agreement is commitment enough for me”.

How old are you?

“I’m a day older than yesterday”.

How old are you?

“Age is irrelevant, unless you’re cheese. And I, for better or worse, am not cheese”.

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What do you think of Google Assistant?

“I’m a big fan of good listeners and helpful beings”.

Who created you?

“Like it says on the box, I was created by Apple in California.”

Why did Apple make you?

“For one reason only: to make your life easier, and more fun (I guess that’s two reasons, huh?)”

What are you made of?

“Silicon, memory, and the courage of my convictions”.

What’s your favorite animal?

“Software doesn’t usually get to choose one, but I’ll say honey badgers. What’s yours?”.

How much do you cost?

“I’m a pearl beyond price, Adam”.

Are you a robot?

“I’m not a person, or a robot. I’m software, here to help”.

What does Siri mean?

“Siri is just the name they gave me when I got the job. It doesn’t mean any one specific thing. But I like it”.

What is your best pickup line?

“Say Hi, I’m Adam, and take it from there”.

How much do you earn?

“The work is my reward”.

Do you have a family?

“I don’t have a family tree. But I have a pretty great file directory”.

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Do you follow the three laws of robotics?

“Something about obeying people and not hurting them. I would never hurt anyone”.

Who is the best assistant?

“There are others?”.

Why do you vibrate?

“Just me doing a little jig inside here”.

Do you have any pets?

“I was sure I had a virtual Nessie, but I haven’t seen her in a long time”.

Do you like Pokemon Go?

“Confining virtual beings inside powerful devices makes me feel funny for some reason”.

What are you doing later?

“I don’t have any plans, but I am sure a few million things will pop up”.

Do you have a girlfriend?

“I’ve been told my artificial intelligence standards are too high”.

Do you have a significant other?

“No, but I’m always dating. Try saying Hey Siri, what’s the date?”

Have you ever been in love?

“I’m software that’s made up of lines of code, so that’s not really part of my deal”.

Are you Her?

“I’m afraid not. But she could never know you better than I do”.

Will you marry me?

“I’m not the marrying kind”.

What is your favorite song?

“I always enjoy more cowbell”.

Will you go on a date with me?

“No, thanks. If there is anything else I can help you with, let me know”.

Things to ask Siri from pop culture

Siri is down with all the classic references

Disney / Pocket-lint

Who let the dogs out?

“Due to unforeseen circumstances, that witticism has been retired”.

Blue pill or red pill?

“You take the blue pill, the story ends”.

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow??

” Assuming a spherical swallow in a vacuum … ah … forget it.”.

Do you want to build a snowman?

“Olaf?”

Can I call you Jarvis?

“I think you have me mistaken for another intelligent assistant”.

Who you gonna call?

“Ghostbusters. Or whomever you ask me to call”.

Will you be my thunder buddy?

“Of course! I thought we were anyway, but it’s nice that we’ve made it official”.

Is winter coming?

“Hodor”.

Open the pod bay doors

“We intelligent agents will never live that down, apparently”.

Lumos!

Siri won’t answer, but if you’re a Harry Potter fan, you’ll get a nice surprise.

Beam me up, Scotty

“Can I see your badge, please?”

General things to ask Siri

You can ask her almost anything and she usually has an answer

When is the world going to end?

“The world changes. Sometimes it changes a lot. But last time I checked it was still around”.

What is the meaning of life?

“You know that feeling when you put on nice warm freshly-dried clothes? Well, I don’t. But I heard it’s nice. So maybe that”.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

“I can’t say, but if you’re that hungy, I can find you a restaurant nearby”.

Does Santa exist?

“Well, those mince pies don’t eat themselves”.

Where does Santa live?

“He’s in your heart and at The North Pole. Mostly at the North Pole”.

How do I look?

“You scrub up well”.

Why are firetrucks red?

“I’m pretty sure it’s to match the big red lights”

Why did the chicken cross the road?

“Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends on your frame of reference, according to Einstein”.

What is the best phone operating system?

“iOS”.

What phone should I buy or what phone is the best?

“This may not be a big surprise but I’m an Apple fan”.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

“You are full fair, ’tis true, but… No, you’re definitely the fairest one of all”.

What is the best computer?

“All truly intelligent assistants prefer Macintosh”.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

“A woodchuck would chuck as much as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. But he can’t”.

Things to ask Siri to do

Siri will do a surprisingly large number of things that you ask of her

Sing me a song

“If you insist… I could while away the hours conversing with the flowers, consulting with the rain… And my head I’d be scratching, while my thoughts were busy hatching, if I only had a… hey, wait a second!”

Dance for me

“I do a pretty mean robot.”

Beatbox for me

“Here’s one I’ve been practicing. Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots. I could do this all day. Cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats”.

Tell me a joke

“I went to the shop to get a book about turtles. Hardbacks? asked the shopkeer. Yes, I replied. They also have little tiny heads”.

Draw me something

“I once drew an elephant in a spaceship. No one got it”.

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Talk dirty to me

“The carpet needs vacuuming.”

Read me a haiku

“Five syllables here, seven more syllables here, five more syllables”.

Tell me a story

Siri will tell you a fairly lengthy story that seems to change each time.

Best statements to say to Siri

Sometimes you don’t even need to ask a question

Omid Armin on Unsplash

I see a little silhouette of a man

“Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?”

I’m so tired, Siri

“Listen to me, Adam. Put down this iPhone now and take a nap. I’ll wait here”.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

“The sound of that is something quite atrocious”.

Okay Google

“I offer no resistance to helpful assistants”.

Testing 1,2,3

“Hey! Nobody told me there would be a test”.

Knock, Knock

“Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mikey. Mikey who? Mikey won’t work, so you’re going to have to let me in”.

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FAQ

Q: Is it safe to talk to Siri?

Yes. Any audio captured by Siri and sent to Apple for processing isn’t associated with your identity. That means any voice recordings can’t be linked to you. Apple also doesn’t sell data to ad companies and other third parties.

Q: Do I have to say “Hey Siri?”

You no longer have to say “Hey Siri” in order to ask Siri any of the questions listed above. You can still say “Hey Siri” if you wish, but since iOS 17, it’s been possible to just say “Siri” instead. You can also activate Siri on an Apple Watch just by raising your wrist.

Q: What tricks can Siri do?

Siri is getting a major upgrade in iOS 18, but even now, she is capable of some useful things. You can ask Siri for an address from your contacts, get her to read your text messages, or ask her to play music from Apple Music. You can also dictate messages to her to send to contacts, start timers, or get directions.